Monthly Money Check-ins With Your Spouse

Monthly money check-ins with your spouse foster open communication, promote financial transparency, and help align your goals to build a stronger partnership and secure future together.

Money talks can either strengthen your relationship or create tension that simmers beneath the surface. One proactive way couples are tackling this head-on? Monthly money check-ins. It’s a dedicated time to review spending, budget goals, financial dreams, and unexpected expenses. But here’s the big question: Should you be doing this alone, or do you need a professional to guide the conversation?

Let’s unpack the pros and cons—and how to know what’s right for your marriage.

Why Monthly Money Check-ins Matter

Whether you’re newly married or celebrating your silver anniversary, financial alignment is a constant process. Life changes. Incomes shift. Goals evolve. A monthly check-in is like a “marriage meeting” with money on the agenda.

Benefits of monthly money check-ins:

• Prevents financial surprises
• Builds financial transparency and trust
• Encourages teamwork on shared goals
• Creates space for gratitude and planning

But even with good intentions, talking about money isn’t always easy.

The Case for DIY Money Check-ins

Many couples manage just fine with a shared spreadsheet, a budgeting app, and a glass of wine. If you and your partner already have a strong communication rhythm and mutual respect around financial decisions, you might not need a third party in the room.

Signs you’re ready for a DIY approach:

• You can talk about money without blame or defensiveness
• You both agree on basic financial priorities
• You regularly review budgets or statements together
• You’re comfortable adjusting plans when life throws a curveball

Tips to make it work:

• Schedule a consistent time (like the first Sunday of the month)
• Start with gratitude, not grievances
• Keep it under 45 minutes
• End with action items for each partner

When You Might Need a Professional Facilitator

Money is emotional. If your check-ins often become check-outs—with one of you shutting down, getting angry, or feeling unheard—a professional can help.

Consider a pro if:

• You keep having the same financial arguments
• One partner handles all the money and the other is in the dark
• You’re blending finances for the first time (e.g. after marriage or remarriage)
• There’s been financial betrayal (e.g. secret spending or hidden debt)
• You’re trying to align vastly different money mindsets (e.g. spender vs. saver)

A financial coach, marriage therapist, or financial planner with experience in couple dynamics can offer tools, language, and structure that make conversations more productive.

What Does a Facilitator Actually Do?

They’re not there to take sides. A good facilitator:

• Helps you both feel heard
• Guides you toward shared values
• Offers a neutral structure for discussion
• Teaches better communication and problem-solving skills
• Helps you build a financial plan that works for both of you

Think of them like a GPS—you’re still driving the car, but they help you get to your financial destination with fewer wrong turns.

It’s About the Connection, Not Just the Cash

Monthly money check-ins aren’t just about dollars and cents. They’re about emotional safety, shared vision, and growing together as a couple. Whether you DIY it or bring in a pro, the point is to stay connected—not to be perfect.

Money is just one tool in your marriage toolbox. Used with care and intention, it can build not only your financial future, but your bond as life partners.

Would you consider inviting a pro into your money conversations? Or have you and your spouse found your own rhythm? Share your experience in the comments!

FAQs on Monthly Money Check-ins With Your Spouse

1. What is a monthly money check-in, and why is it important?

A monthly money check-in is a scheduled conversation between you and your spouse where you review your finances. This can include discussing your budget, setting financial goals, tracking progress, and addressing any concerns or unexpected expenses. It helps maintain financial transparency, build trust, and prevent surprises in your relationship.

2. Do we need a professional to facilitate our money check-ins?

Not necessarily! If you and your partner communicate well about finances and can have productive conversations, a professional facilitator may not be necessary. However, if you find yourselves repeatedly arguing about money, feeling unheard, or struggling to align on financial priorities, a facilitator such as a financial coach or marriage therapist could provide helpful guidance.

3. What should we talk about during a money check-in?

Focus on reviewing your budget, tracking any shared goals, discussing upcoming expenses (like vacations or large purchases), and addressing any unexpected financial challenges. It’s also important to celebrate your financial wins and ensure both partners feel heard and understood.

4. How can we make our money check-ins productive?

To keep your check-ins productive, set a consistent time each month, start with positive notes (like financial wins), and keep the discussion under 45 minutes to avoid fatigue. Be clear about your goals, avoid blame, and end the conversation with clear action steps for each partner.

5. How do I know if we need a professional to guide our discussions?

If you find that money discussions often turn into arguments, if one partner handles all finances while the other feels left out, or if there’s been a breakdown in trust (such as secret spending or hidden debt), a financial coach or therapist can offer valuable tools for better communication and collaboration.